Jude Thinks He Can Dance

Sometimes you just got to boogie.

One Month and Feelin Fine

We've made it to the one month mark which, incidentally, puts us right in the middle of the peak of fussiness. Apparently, babies peak with their fussiness sometime between week 4 and 6. Please, oh please, let's hope it's not week 6!!!!!!

Back to Work...

Whoa, going back to work is super hard. And my next sentence is going to make me sound heartless, but it has a good ending, I promise. So when I used to not have a kid (you know, like 3 weeks ago), and women would come back to work after having a baby, I never understood how sad they were. I mean, of course, it's sad, but you get to see the baby at night and on weekends.

Heartless, right? Told you.

Now, happy ending. I totally understand now. On Monday, Jude was sleeping when I left so I didn't want to ruin the bliss. So, I didn't get to see him before I left. And you know what? At work, all day, I was so sad! So this morning I made sure that I got to spend a good half hour rocking and sleeping with my baby. And today I understood why those women were so sad. Don't get me wrong. I have a great job. I love the people that I work with, the company that I work for. But still...it is super hard to sit in meetings where we talk about things like powerpoint presentations and bulletins.

I mean, who wants to talk about brand guidelines when there is a cute CUTE baby at home?

Jude's First Movie

Here's our big man, enjoying a bottle with mommy!

Birth Weight!

We made it to the Dr. today and got GREAT NEWS... Jude has surpassed his birth weight and is now a big 9 pounds! This helps me rest SO MUCH easier. The pediatrician had me so worried that he hadn't made it back to birth weight yet (even though it's my understanding that breastfed babies have up until 21 days to make it there). But now I can be ok with how things are going... yay!

Milkaholics Anonymous

Dare I say it? I think we're actually getting somewhat... comfortable.. with this major change in our lives. Jude is a pretty happy little man. I mean, he spits up my bodily fluids on a regular basis and he does have his daily "angry time," but other than that, he's a great baby. We're trying to figure our lives around him and even for planners like us, anticipating the minute-to-minute needs of a newborn is quite the challenge. I'm less of a crying ball of mess and breastfeeding is going better (not great, mind you, but better than the wincing, toe-curling terribleness of the first week). We'll head to the doctor AGAIN on Monday for a third weight check and HOPEFULLY Jude will be back up to birth weight. For now we're enjoying the help we're getting from our moms (mine left on Thursday and Lindsay's arrived on Friday) and the time Lindsay has off of work.

I'm not saying we're pros.... that would be crazy talk. But we're taking it day by day, kind of like addicts do. Does that mean I'm addicted to baby?

The Dude

Jude has SO MANY clothes - we're trying to make sure he gets to wear them all before he outgrows them! Here's a fashion show:

Jude's First Bath!

Basically, he hated it. His umbilical cord stump fell off on Thursday, which meant that we could actually put him IN the water (as opposed to just a sponge bath), but the way our little baby tub works is that there's a little hammock-like thing that he sits in while we wash him down. I've never given someone/something a bath as quickly as we bathed Jude.

Home from the hospital

We came home on Monday the 22nd and so far, here's how it's gone:

Monday night: We tried putting Jude in the crib in our room. He hated it. Hated it. Even though Lindsay and I were trading off "shifts," I hated it, too. I don't think I slept AT ALL. Jude was not a happy camper and this meant that no one in the room was a happy camper, including Sully. I had my first freak out.

Tuesday: Linda, the home health care nurse came by and was sooooo great. I actually thought Lindsay might barricade the door so Linda wouldn't leave. She checked in with me, checked Jude's vitals, and spent a ton of time helping me troubleshoot some breastfeeding issues. Jude slept like a champ in the afternoon. I even took a nap. (Yeah that whole "sleep while he's sleeping" advice? WHERE do you find the time??)

Tuesday night: Basically a repeat of the first night, but I didn't have a breakdown. Lindsay even tried driving Jude around town to get him to calm down (which worked) and when they got back home, we tried having him sleep in his swing in the living room with one of us sleeping on the couch. Success! Too bad it only came partway through the night. I think we each got a couple of hours, but not much more.

Wednesday: Jude had another great day. I cried two or three times - I lost count. I've pretty much cried every day since he was born. Sometimes it's about happy things (like coming home from the hospital... I cried in the car and I could cry about it right now) and sometimes it's about total freakout things... like second-guessing myself on every single thing I do. Should I give him a pacifier? Should he sleep in his swing? Should I swaddle him now? Should he be wearing another layer? Is it bad that I can't wake him up to feed? Is he eating enough? My head echoes with all the advice I've been given, all the books I've read, all the professionals I've heard from and in the moment, it feels almost impossible to make a decision about what to do. Ok, so that's not just Wednesday - that's every day. I knew it would be hard, I just never knew it was going to be *this* hard.

Wednesday night: We have a good thing going on with Jude sleeping downstairs in the living room with the two of us taking shifts of sleeping upstairs in our bed and sleeping downstairs on the couch. It sucks that we aren't able to sleep in the same bed, but what doesn't suck that we're sleeping and not freaking out.

Thursday: Jude's first pediatrician appointment AND a blood pressure check for me. I was really nervous that we'd have to drive from one end of town to the other in order to make both appointments, but we did it and even worked in a quick trip to Target. Everything looked good for me, but Jude is borderline jaundice - not quite enough to warrant phototherapy, but enough that we needed to have blood drawn for a second time. Thursday was also the first day that I didn't cry!

Thursday night: Let's just say we're working on our shift method.

Friday: Jude power napped in the afternoon, allowing me an mom to go for some quick errands. I had a mental breakdown about breastfeeding. It's really not going as gloriously as I'd like. I know I have to figure out what works best for me and for Jude, but this has probably been the hardest part of being a parent so far.

Saturday: Jude is one week old! We headed to the lab for another jaundice blood test and his billirubin levels are headed down - great news. We're still keeping our eyes out, but we're breathing a little easier.

I can't believe our little guy is a week old! My mom has been here and it's been great to have the extra help, but it's also giving me an artificial idea of what it's going to be like when it's just me, Lindsay, and Jude. I know we'll be able to do it, but yikes! I'm not going to lie. This is a little rouch.

Soooo... We made it

After all the drama, we finally made it to the hospital! It sounds like they were a little short on staff, but my OB happened to be on call and worked her magic to get me in (thanks, Witzke!). We were finally told to come in on Friday at 2:00. So we got our bags in the car and headed off to our final lunch, and then, to the hospital!

They started me off in triage and hooked me up to the fetal heartbeat monitor and contraction monitor and two hours later, we were moved to our labor and delivery room (where I got my long-awaited-for giant water jug!). They started me on Pitocin and I responded with some stronger contractions, but was given a lower dose and some sleeping pills overnight so we could begin in earnest in the morning (mmmmm... sleeping pills.....).

The nurses were so fabulous and made us both feel all the great excitement of expecting Jude! If any of you are ever going to deliver at Park Nicollet Methodist, you are so lucky to have such great labor and delivery nurses. We were really lucky to have such wonderful people caring for us during this time (AND we were really lucky to have the Olympics playing NON-STOP!)

At 5:30 Saturday morning, the Pitocin was started again. I have NO concept of time from the day at all. All I know is that I was able to Skype with Katy at some point in the morning and I was super bubbly.

Eventually, the contractions got really intense. INTENSE! We tried several different positions and Lindsay was SO great about helping me through them all. Apparently I went through these ouchie contractions for about 6 hours (REALLY???? What was I thinking?!?!?!?!). Eventually, though, I'd had enough and I went for the epidural. And MAN was it great! I was actually able to sleep and rest a bit and even joke around with the nurse (she asked about my pain level before the epidural and I told her it was a 4. A 4? "No, I lied. It was like a 8 or a 9" She thought that was pretty funny). For those of you who have never had an epidural, it is basically like the numbing drugs they give you at the dentist, except it's over your whole lower two thrids of your body. WEIRD to reach down and feel your leg and NOT feel it on your leg.

After a quick bedside ultrasound, they realized the Jude was "sunny side up" - facing the wrong way. The idea was to flip me from side to encourage him to flip. Just a few minutes later they checked my dilation and the nurse announced that I was READY and Jude was facing the right way and READY and it was PUSH TIME!!!!!!!

The room started buzzing and all the Dr's and nurses started arriving for Jude's birthday! Once they got everything set up I got started with pushing and SEVEN MINUTES LATER.... Jude was born!!!!!! Before I knew it, there he was, up on my chest, crying and screaming, just as he should. Wow. THERE IS A BABY ON MY CHEST. THAT JUST CAME OUT OF MY BODY. AND NOW I AM HIS MOM. AND LINDSAY IS HIS MOM. WE ARE MOMS. HE IS A BABY!

So much of the rest of the night was a blur, but when the sun came up in the morning, WE HAD A BABY there with us! And LOOK at him!!!!!!



So in love!