Sunday, March 22, 2009

No New News is New News

I know it's been a while since either one of us has posted here, but the truth is, there hasn't been a lot of new news.

Ok.... there's the fertility monitor. Apparently, it works. Either that, or I paid $400 for it to lie to me. Each month, it's telling me "ovulation confirmed" on the 14th day of my cycle. Good, right? Since the timing of our insemination appointment will be critical, it's great to know that I'm ovulating consistently. I only have to hope that our trip to France in May won't mess things up since it is my first ovulation after that (June) that we plan to start trying (I promise I'm not complaining...).

So there's that. And since we have the whole ovulation thing under control, we've decided that it's time to start picking our Baby Daddy. We sat down this weekend and went through the list again. We 'd had a few favorites. We'd looked at their online profiles and basically everything we could know. There was just one last evaluation - the personality test. For a fee, if course, L and I could each take a personality test, similar to the Meyers-Briggs. All the donors have also taken the test. One everyone is finished, we get a map with us and three donors of our choosing. We took the test and it turns out, L and I are in the same quadrant, though, as you might imagine, I'm super close to the center, and L is much closer to the extreme. Surprised, right? Two of the donors are also in the same quadrant, but on the other side. The third donor is almost the exact same as L, but with one key area being different - where L is "scheduled," Donor 3 is "laid-back," which puts in in the same location, but in a different quadrant. Can you imagine? But get this..... I actually scored higher on the "scheduled" scale than L did! Sooo.... we figure that maybe Donor 3 mixed with me would yield a kid who's just.... normal.
So Donor #3 is it. All that we have to do is actually purchase the vials and arrange to have them stored in our name at the bank until we're ready in June!

I guess for "no news" that's a lot of news. It's getting so close, and I'm getting more and more comfortable with the whole process. It's really felt weird to 1) see myself as a person who might actually get/be pregnant (even though the alarm on "the clock" has been going off for some time and I've been pushing snooze), and 2) to make this whole thing happen in a way that's so foreign to me. We've had to do a lot of learning in these past few months. I think I'm finally at a point where I don't feel like such a freak about it. Still, I'm hesitant to let myself get too excited. What if it doesn't work? What if it takes a long time to work? How much money would we be willing to spend? What's it worth? Yet maybe this is preparation for being a parent... making tough decisions, looking to the future, but living in the moment.