Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Hole in One! (or "One in the Hole")

This couldn't be happening because we're just not that lucky. The FIRST insemination attempt worked. I had myself all prepared for three, four, five, six attempts. I told myself that this first time was just a practice run. I wasn't going to get excited. TOM and I reminded ourselves over and over again that we weren't going to get excited because it wasn't going to work .... except it did.

I'm normally not into the whole getting in touch with my feelings thing, but after that insem, I went back to work and while I was sitting there at my desk checking my email, I just knew it had worked. I mean at that point, I'm sure nothing had actually happened, but I just felt it. When I got home from work that evening, I told TOM "there's a baby in there." She was kinda mad. "It's not going to work this time! I thought we agreed that we weren't going to get our hopes up." She was right. But I still knew.

So fast forward to a week and a half later, 10 days past ovulation. The VERY earliest one could test. I happened to find a bargain on pregnancy tests, so I figured the WORST thing about using one of those bad boys up was that it would tell me I wasn't pregnant, in which case I would just test again in a day or two. It was the Clearblue digital kind (and that part is key... remember that for later). I peed. I set it on the counter. I put a piece of tp over the window so I couldn't look until the three minutes were up. TOM came over and like a magician revealing a rabbit, I pulled the sheet away from the window and it said.... pregnant. Not not pregnant. Pregnant. There was freaking out. There were tears. There was jumping. There were phone calls to parents and siblings.

But neither TOM nor I are satisified with ONE test. No, not us. We need data. We need statistics. We need something that cooroborates the story. So I waited 30 minutes and peed again and..... NOT pregnant. There were more tears. There was not jumping.

By the next morning, three more tests all confirmed it... NOT pregnant. Many internet searches later revealed that the Clearblue Digital is notorious for false positives. Awesome. (Do I need to tell anyone who's testing NOT to ever use this test?!?!). Fortunately the ladies over at the IVP talked me down off the ledge, reminded me I still was a few days out from expected period date, and advised me to step away from the digitals.

Armed with the trusty pink-lined sticks, I tried again on day 12 and.... faaaaaaint positive line. So was maybe a little bit pregnant. Day 13, slightly darker line, but not dark. And then day 14, the day I should've had my period... see exhibit A above. THAT was the sign I needed!!!!!!!

So all of this is to say, we're pregnant!!!

But you, loyal reader of our blog, probably already knew that. We've only shared this with a select few of you, just as we're only sharing with our happy news with a select few of you. So no posting on our facebook pages, telling other friends, or....whatever. But we knew we could trust you, right?

On with the stroller selection! Oh wait. We already did that.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

TWW (That's Two Week Wait, to you)

Ok, today we've officially moved from "just planning to inseminate" to "actually inseminating." Wow. This morning was our first IUI and though I really tried to keep calm, I found myself awake at 3:30 am, anxious as all get-out. It turned out that I just got whomever was on duty and it happened to be a male doctor. I wanted to panic, since no man has ever been up in there, but I knew that panicking wouldn't help at all. When he walked in the door with the vial, he asked me to hold it and keep it warm. All I could think about was "this tiny vial of pink(?) stuff cost $300. Panicking about the male doctor will just ensure that you're wasting $300. Don't do it."

But I made it. And now I'm sitting here reading posts on my "lesbians trying to conceive" forum, especially the ones about how days 10 and 11 are the hardest and I'm thinking, "oh crap. It gets HARDER than today?" I can't tell you how many times I typed "earliest signs of pregnancy" into the google. I really don't know how I'm going to make two weeks. I've told myself over and over that it isn't going to work the first time, but OF COURSE I want it to. Ugh. What have I gotten myself into?!?!?

Monday, June 1, 2009

Big Day #1

So tomorrow is the big day... the day we go in for our first insemination. It feel like it should be a secret, but all of you that read this blog already know, so I guess it isn't too big of a secret! I'm feeling kind of nervous and kind of excited, and kind of.... hmmm... I don't know. I'm trying not to get too worked up, though, because, as Erin said, my "uterus might suspect." It's true. I DO have a very suspicious uterus.

So the deal is that I was supposed to call by 1:30 today so they could wash the sample and get it all prepared for an 8:00 am appointment tomorrow. I needed to use an ovulation predictor kit to detect my LH surge, which is what triggers ovulation. I did one at work this morning (I have to pee on a stick) and it was negative... no surge! Thankfully, I was able to leave work and get home and try again (since I stupidly only brought sticks for a single round). Still.... negative. Agh! The clock was ticking and it was getting closer to 1:30. I drank some more water (ok, a lot of water) so I could pee again. This time, success! I finally got the little smiley face I'd been waiting for!!! Yay!

So.... we're good to go! Of course, I really want it to work, but I know that the odds are actually against me. I know that we're about to start something that could take more than a year of trying, so I keep reminding myself that this is just practice....

.... but I really hope it works.