Tuesday, June 2, 2009

TWW (That's Two Week Wait, to you)

Ok, today we've officially moved from "just planning to inseminate" to "actually inseminating." Wow. This morning was our first IUI and though I really tried to keep calm, I found myself awake at 3:30 am, anxious as all get-out. It turned out that I just got whomever was on duty and it happened to be a male doctor. I wanted to panic, since no man has ever been up in there, but I knew that panicking wouldn't help at all. When he walked in the door with the vial, he asked me to hold it and keep it warm. All I could think about was "this tiny vial of pink(?) stuff cost $300. Panicking about the male doctor will just ensure that you're wasting $300. Don't do it."

But I made it. And now I'm sitting here reading posts on my "lesbians trying to conceive" forum, especially the ones about how days 10 and 11 are the hardest and I'm thinking, "oh crap. It gets HARDER than today?" I can't tell you how many times I typed "earliest signs of pregnancy" into the google. I really don't know how I'm going to make two weeks. I've told myself over and over that it isn't going to work the first time, but OF COURSE I want it to. Ugh. What have I gotten myself into?!?!?

1 comments:

erinjohn said...

fingers crossed :)