And Again....

Jude is sick. Again.
Another call from daycare, another dash from work to the school.
This time it's just a fever. Just a fever. So far, anyway.
I called the nurse line and they said he didn't need to come to urgent care unless his fever went up to 105, any other symptoms showed up, or he still has the fever in the morning.
I'm beginning to get better at this whole "parenting a sick child" thing, but I'm not so sure that's a good thing.

Since Jude is sick, we won't be going to our ECFE class tomorrow (Early Childhood Family Education). I'm kind of bummed because I was looking forward to the conversation we were going to have. But since we became parents, we've also become cancellers. I hate that. I hate that we are no longer dependable. I hate that we may or not come. I hate that we may or may not be on time. I hate that we sometimes have to miss out on the things that we'd like to do. I hate that I had to cancel a meeting at work today. I hate that we make plans and then can't follow through with them.

I know. I was probably too anal about all that stuff before and this is the healthy dose of "get over it" that I've been needing. I also know that other parents of small children totally get it and are definitely not judging me because honey, they've been there, too.

I think it's more the reality setting in of what everyone always told us - having kids will change your life. I knew that on an intellectual level, but learning that on an emotional level has been an entirely different story. Pre-baby, it was not unusual for us to hang out in our pajamas until 1:00 on a Saturday, then go run errands all afternoon and top off the day with dinner out. Now I'm up at 6:30 and planning my time away from the house in 2-3 hour increments. Or canceling work meetings. Or eating dinner at 5:00.

Ok. I don't want to complain. Because though the adjustment to life as a parent hasn't exactly been smooth sailing all the way, words can't describe how much I love Jude and honestly, a little change is quite worth it. Today, though he had a fever of 103, he was practicing standing on his own. It was amazing. There he was in his little footie pajamas with the guitar on them, squatting, then standing, then squatting again. Like a person.

So I guess if I have to cancel a meeting or two (or ten), it's ok. But I still hate that he's sick.