Good News!

Because I don't want to leave any of you hanging, I had a blood pressure check yesterday morning and it had actually come down! I'm still in the "your blood pressure is kind of high" range, but not in the "we're worried about you having preeclampsia" range. Yay!
I keep reminding myself that this DOES NOT mean that I can go back to all my old ways of going until I am exhausted and eating whatever I want - paying really close attention to those things is probably what got my bp down in the first place. But at least I know that there's a way to control it.
Which brings me to a question for all of you.... do any of you know of any quick and easy recipes/meals that don't use canned or majorly processed foods (in other words, low in sodium) that you can pass my way? I'm finding that cooking at home without canned or processed elements is the easiest way to eat low-sodium, but I'm also trying to rest, so running around like a crazy chef isn't exactly what I'm looking for, either! If you have any good ideas, I'd love to hear them!

A Complication....

We knew things couldn't be so perfect the whole time! I went to the Dr. last Tuesday for my glucose check and a routine check and my blood pressure came back high. They asked me to pee in a cup, which turned up some protein in my urine. These two things together indicated that I'm at a high risk for preeclampsia. It's apparently pretty common in first pregnancies and if I was at 37 weeks or later, they'd just induce. But at 27 weeks, I'm much to early for that. They took some blood tests and those came back normal.

So I was sent home from work for the rest of the week (though it was Thanksgiving week, so I was already going to be out Thursday and Friday). I was told to do lots of resting and avoid salty foods (Thanksgiving week!). Lindsay did all the driving down to her aunt's in Illinois for the holiday and everyone was so great about keeping me at rest. It certainly wasn't fun to avoid salt during Thanksgiving, but I did it.

Today I went in for another check and.... my blood pressure is still high. I'm told that I don't *have* preeclampsia at this point, but I'm so close that there's concern I could go down that path. I'm back at work, but doing everything I can to be mellow. I go back on Friday for another blood pressure check and we'll go from there. Right now, we're taking it week by week to see how things go. As much as I'd *like* to not have to go to work, I'm not ready for that. Mostly, I want to ensure I can still travel to California for the holidays!

Oh, and by the way, I passed my glucose test! I thought for sure I'd have to worry about having gestational diabetes, but looks like I'm ok with that!

I'm doing ok right now... just trying to take it easy. I'll keep you updated!

Major Purchase #1: Stroller

Today we went to Baby on Grand (a great store with staff people that are so knowledgable and understanding that not everyone is an expert on strollers) and picked up our stroller! We have probably logged about 10 hours of internet research on strollers, so by the time we went to the store today, we knew exactly what we wanted. It was a present from my mom, so we wanted to make sure that we were getting something perfect!

We started our stroller search with an intense discussion of our stroller needs. Yes, when you are having a baby, these are the kind of sexy conversations that you have on a regular basis with your partner. We decided that our stroller needs were:

1. All-in-one. We didn't want to have to buy a stroller for when he is a newborn, for when it is a toddler, for when we are at the park, etc. You'd be surprised how many frigging strollers some people have.

2. No Winnie the Pooh. In fact, no licensed characters is kind of a theme for us.

3. Comes with a "boot." Now, you people who don't live in the frozen tundra with children may not know what this is. It is a little foot cover that you can latch onto the stroller's belly bar to keep baby feet and legs warm.

4. Folds up small. It has to fit in the "trunk" of the Scion, which is not really a trunk at all, but more of an oversized shoebox.

We began our research on a fabulous website, BabyGizmo. In fact, I should just go ahead and set Baby Gizmo as my home page, that's how often I look at it. And I actually get irritated if they haven't reviewed a product. I know, right! The best feature about BabyGizmo are their YouTube videos, and they had one for the stroller we had our eye on. May I present to you, the Inglesina Zippy!

She had us from the "one-handed fold" and the fact that it can stand up on end after it is folded up. We also love the light-weight factor and the super small fold is a breeze to fit into the Scion. We even fit it into the regular sized trunk of our other car today with 4 bags of groceries! I know, it's the little things that get me excited.

Here are some photos of us with the stroller in our living room. Although it was very tempting, we didn't put Sully in it.

The head-on view.

We call this the "no paparazzi please" setup with the winter boot and the large canopy.

Liz making some tight turns around the living room!

Close up view!

I am not sure if we'll be this happy when we are pushing a baby around in it and it's -15 degrees outside...

93% Done...

While Jude is still cooking, we're getting his room all ready. It's been sooooo fun to walk by every day and see the furniture set up in there. This weekend was the time to get most of the decorations up. We have vinyl decals of robots, plus a few other creations... As you can see, we're nearly done. We still need a few odds and ends: the changing pad, a diaper pail, a clock/CD/ipod player, to name a few. But it's really "Jude's room" now and I totally LOVE it.

Allow me to introduce you to Hirohito Shibainu and CHUCK (Lindsay likes to change Hirohito's Japanese name up every time and CHUCK talks with a crazy voice, just in case you're playing along.....)

Here's Jude's signature collage wall. We'll add to it/make changes as he gets older.

We found this idea online... interesting fabrics in an embroidery hoop as a frame. We love it and it's soooooo easy and cheap!

Sully cleverly camouflages himself with the new glider cushions.

We don't have a name for this guy yet. Alls we know is that he likes to hang from the shelf.
This is Shy Guy. He's more of an observer (and yes, he's blue, not black).
This Daddy or Folsom... we can't decide. And... well, um... that's just because.
Here's the changing table we so lovingly put together with the Drew triptych and Daddy/Folsom hanging out below.
This is Volt, keeper of the light switch (oooh.. see the dimmer switch we so handily installed? Are you admiring it's variable light levels?)
Elton... he thinks he's a Rocket Man. (He's also in the corner, which explains his funky shape)
And here's the rocket ship and Dumb Guy. We know, we know... he needs a new name, but he's Lindsay's least favorite robot so Dumb Guy works.
And just for a little perspective, here's the view form the glider and the view from the door. We're still waiting for the mobile to come in the mail and the decorations will be done!
As for me, I'm feeling good... save for some lower back pain and some AWESOME acne. Jude has been trying out all kinds of moves. There's somersaults, the bicycle and, his favorite, hiccups. Yay for month 5!

Does this picture make my stuff look big?

That's right -- it's a boy! And since we aren't keeping that a secret, we can also tell you his full name (we're planners). It's Jude August Heyer.

The pictures are incredible, but they don't do justice of what it was like to see the baby move on the screen! You can see his hands, fingers, unbelievable.

The nurse spent about 45 minutes with the ultrasound machine showing us all kinds of different views of the baby. We were able to measure his waist (15cm) and his head (17cm). And we could see all four chambers of his heart and heart his heart beating at 168 beats per minute (bpm to those in the biz).

The technician took all of the measurements that she needed to take while the baby showed off his left and right profile. Third time's the charm, and he was a wiggler again. He did an entire somersault during the ultrasound. You could watch his body move in real time as Liz was feeling it.

Here are the photos from our ultrasound. Of course, he looks beautiful to me.

Okay, so the technician said that it was like he was sitting on a glass table and we were looking up from the bottom. So, those aren't his full legs, and it is a little misleading.

Don't you think that is a REALLY cute foot? Not just any regular foot, right? I know. He's a foot model.

A great detailed picture of the baby -- you can see how cute the profile is! Liz and I think that is his ear (the white part where an ear would be), but the technician said no. Hmph.

Cute, right?

Check out these two photos of Liz we took last night. Look how cute and pregnant she is!


"Hey, you see that bump? Do the horizontal stripes help?"


"There's a BABY in there!"

I think it's gonna be the most important day so far in my life.

Tuesday is the day that we find out whether Smalls is a boy or a girl. Hopefully, unless Smalls is being private and modest like Owen was when they went to check on him. I am pretty convinced that it is going to be the most important day of my life so far.

Not because Smalls is going to be dressed in blue with sports or pink with princess hats. No matter how much I support gender neutrality, there are still some things that are going to be different in my life depending on the news that I get on Tuesday. But nothing significant comes to mind. The things that I can think of are what color gdiaper covers I am going to get. Or if the storage boxes will have flowers or another pattern.

What does come to mind is the common threads between what I want my son or my daughter to be like.

Funky
Intelligent
Passionate
Independent
Free-spirited

Either way, I am going to be completely overwhelmed with anticipation waiting to find out if it is going to be Jude or Nora.

Smalls is One Lucky Duck

Smalls is only 19 weeks and the size of a large heirloom tomato, but one thing is clear - Smalls is one lucky baby. We've already been given so many special gifts already... here's a sampling:

(Super squishy soft activity center)(Frenchie little lovey with snail)(A little reminder of our Northern California days...)(A spoon that stores the baby food then squeezes it onto the spoon.. genius!)(Custom-made Dixon, IL onesie!)
(Snuggly flannel blanket - I wish it was in my size!)
(Hooded towel... perfect for bathtime!)

We are lucky, lucky moms and it feels so amazing to have so many people who have already made our baby so welcome into this world! Thank you!

And now we nest.

I never understood the word "nesting." You know, people throw it around all the time like everyone should know what it means. Nesting blocks, nesting mothers. I never understood. Now, I understand.

For the past three weeks, Liz and I have been nesting like fools (not quite like the insane birds in our tree outside our window, but pretty close. Not as loudly or as early in the morning.). This nesting has included:

• Two trips to IKEA
• Two Craigslist purchases
• One trip to Loews
• One overflowing garbage can
• One trip to the reupholsterer
• Three bags full of clothes to donate to goodwill
• Several nervous breakdowns
• Countless hours spend internet searching

The exciting part is that the fruits of our labor are beginning to show. Oh, yeah, that Smalls fruit is starting to show, too, but I was talking about the nursery.

Since we decided that we would stick with the bright green (Shrek green) that Dana so lovingly painted about 3 years ago. I mean, the guy basically used a watercolor brush to get that paint as perfect as possible. (Sometimes I worry that it may have some impacts on his sight later in life - I mean, the color is really bright - and I wouldn't want to take that for granted.) We just wanted to add black and white and have a color instead of a theme baby room. Like, it's not animals, robots, trains...it's green, black and white.

So, this weekend was the first time that we started to assemble things in the nursery instead of just dumping things up there like some sort of baby fairy is going to clean it up. And man, I am EXCITED about the progress we made. The beginning started a little rough. The IKEA directions showed the picture of a man with a rumpled mouth because he had questions about what's in the box. But we weren't scared, because we are true experts at putting together furniture. It all started back in '04 with putting together the sideboard with Erin.

Soon, though we were into it. Railings were already in place, and all we really needed to do was slap the pieces together. No need for rumpled face after all!

All of the animals helped us put together the crib...especially Sully. Now, he thinks it is his bed for sure.

With the crib finished, the room is actually starting to look like a real nursery! We think that our $99 crib from IKEA (of course, approved by Consumer Reports...I told you, countless hours doing research) looks pretty good! Next stop, ohdeehoh!

The first of Liz's crib sheets she is making is finished. We've bought several black, white, and green fabrics and found a great pattern to make crib sheets. The first one is hippo fabric from IKEA...I think that she did a fabulous job.

And then is our first Craigslist find, a black and white table for next to the glider (which we dropped off at the reupholsterer on Friday). I think that it is adorable and I love the $6 Ikea Light on top of it! Smalls and I are going to have some great times next to that table. Late, great times.

Before we collapsed, we put some of Smalls' stuff up on the shelves. Can you believe how many books Smalls has already? I know, you can hardly tell that one of Smalls' moms is a teacher.

More pictures to come soon, in the next episode of As the Mommies Nest.

The Nose Knows

We have had a major turn of events - Liz's sense of smell has developed a life of its own. I have heard before about the heightened sense of smell that many women develop when they are pregnant, and, like pickles and ice cream, I always thought that it was a myth. That is, until now that I have my very own pregnant woman.

Yesterday, our neighbor was grilling outside, and Liz couldn't stop talking about how it smelled like fish. Important note: it didn't really smell like fish. I couldn't even tell that it was fish at all.

This morning, Liz decided that our house smelled bad. "The whole house?" I asked. "Yuppers," she said. "The whole house." It didn't.

Liz is now like a bloodhound. My very own bloodhoud that will sniff out barbequed fish or regular house smells from a mile away.

Fruit? Is that all you've got?

I know that babies grow at a very fast pace, and it is all the rage for pregnant ladies and their partners to follow their baby "week by week." We, of course, always trying to be on the edge of what is fashionable for pregnant ladies, have signed up for these week-by-week emails from babycenter.com. We look forward to getting the email every week and learning what should be going on -- how E can expect to be feeling, different quizzes we can take, naming suggestions for Smalls, all that fun stuff.

What I can't understand is the weekly update on the size of the Smalls. It is amazing to me the details that they know about Smalls' development, so why can't they find something better to compare Smalls to than small fruits, legumes, and nuts? This produce aisle extravaganza started in week 4!

Week 4: Poppyseed. Really, like the size of those annoying things that get stuck in my teeth? C'mon.
Week 5: Seasame seed. I was hungry for bagels this whole week.
Week 6: Lentil. Just one lentil? Like A lentil in the soup?
Week 7: Blueberry. I want to know what happened to lima bean. Where's lima?
Week 8: Kidney bean. Phew.
Week 9: Grape. Green, red, globe? Who knows.
Week 10: Kumquat. We've moved into exotic fruit now. And I always thought that a kumquat and a grape were the same size.

I wonder if this is where they get they saying that giving birth is like trying to push out a watermelon. Do you think by the end of this fruit salad we'll arrive at watermelon?

We've got a wiggler!

So, Smalls is a wiggler. We had our very first ultra sound today, and Smalls moved around so much that it was hard to get a picture of her!! I thought that wasn't supposed to happen until much later, but obviously, Smalls is active.

I am not sure if E has told you where the name Smalls came from, so I wanted to test my best multi-media skills and post a video for you. Keep in mind, this was all Liz -- and yes, she regularly quotes the movie "The Sandlot."



We are so excited to begin the next part of our lives together. I can't believe it is real!!

Smalls First Picture!

Today was our first prenatal appointment today and we were SO surprised that we would get an ultrasound! We were expecting to get to hear the heartbeat (which did not happen) but it was way more exciting to get to see Smalls on the screen! Our nurse practitioner saw the heart beating (though neither TOM nor I could make it out) at 160 beats per minute (just right!). Smalls was wiggling all around but I can't feel it just yet.

Everything else from the appointment went well. My official due date is Feb. 27 and my next appointment (with the OB) is in 4 weeks.

It's REALLY real now!!!!!

No Growing, No Knowing

I'm 8 weeks in, but I haven't officially started growing yet. Well, my belly, anyway. My boobs... they've been INSANELY SORE and have grown to the point where I'll soon need a new bra and any non-stretchy shirts no longer fit. My belly, well, it's getting kind of bloated, but no real "growth" yet. I'll probably need to wait another month or so before that starts happening. I've been super lucky to not have terrible morning sickness, but that doesn't mean I haven't been nauseous and been TOTALLY adverse to some foods (melty, gooey cheese? BLECH!). I've managed to gain 5 lbs already (I'm dreading what the Dr. will have to say about that), but all but one pair of pants are still fitting just fine. I did buy a "Bella Band" which is basically a giant stretchy band that allows me to cruise around with my pants unbuttoned without them falling off (awe-some).

I guess the lack of being able to "tell" just by looking at me is good, however, because we still have only shared our news with our closest of friends. I'm really dying to tell, but I know we're not out of the woods yet and my first appt isn't for two more weeks. We're hoping we'll get to hear the heartbeat and get an update that all is well. Until then, we're in the ignorance is bliss stage and just hoping that all these symptoms I'm having are proof enough. The fatigue is getting somewhat better, though I did fall asleep at work the other day for 30 minutes. Good thing no one noticed!

So for now, it's you and me, blog.

Hole in One! (or "One in the Hole")

This couldn't be happening because we're just not that lucky. The FIRST insemination attempt worked. I had myself all prepared for three, four, five, six attempts. I told myself that this first time was just a practice run. I wasn't going to get excited. TOM and I reminded ourselves over and over again that we weren't going to get excited because it wasn't going to work .... except it did.

I'm normally not into the whole getting in touch with my feelings thing, but after that insem, I went back to work and while I was sitting there at my desk checking my email, I just knew it had worked. I mean at that point, I'm sure nothing had actually happened, but I just felt it. When I got home from work that evening, I told TOM "there's a baby in there." She was kinda mad. "It's not going to work this time! I thought we agreed that we weren't going to get our hopes up." She was right. But I still knew.

So fast forward to a week and a half later, 10 days past ovulation. The VERY earliest one could test. I happened to find a bargain on pregnancy tests, so I figured the WORST thing about using one of those bad boys up was that it would tell me I wasn't pregnant, in which case I would just test again in a day or two. It was the Clearblue digital kind (and that part is key... remember that for later). I peed. I set it on the counter. I put a piece of tp over the window so I couldn't look until the three minutes were up. TOM came over and like a magician revealing a rabbit, I pulled the sheet away from the window and it said.... pregnant. Not not pregnant. Pregnant. There was freaking out. There were tears. There was jumping. There were phone calls to parents and siblings.

But neither TOM nor I are satisified with ONE test. No, not us. We need data. We need statistics. We need something that cooroborates the story. So I waited 30 minutes and peed again and..... NOT pregnant. There were more tears. There was not jumping.

By the next morning, three more tests all confirmed it... NOT pregnant. Many internet searches later revealed that the Clearblue Digital is notorious for false positives. Awesome. (Do I need to tell anyone who's testing NOT to ever use this test?!?!). Fortunately the ladies over at the IVP talked me down off the ledge, reminded me I still was a few days out from expected period date, and advised me to step away from the digitals.

Armed with the trusty pink-lined sticks, I tried again on day 12 and.... faaaaaaint positive line. So was maybe a little bit pregnant. Day 13, slightly darker line, but not dark. And then day 14, the day I should've had my period... see exhibit A above. THAT was the sign I needed!!!!!!!

So all of this is to say, we're pregnant!!!

But you, loyal reader of our blog, probably already knew that. We've only shared this with a select few of you, just as we're only sharing with our happy news with a select few of you. So no posting on our facebook pages, telling other friends, or....whatever. But we knew we could trust you, right?

On with the stroller selection! Oh wait. We already did that.

TWW (That's Two Week Wait, to you)

Ok, today we've officially moved from "just planning to inseminate" to "actually inseminating." Wow. This morning was our first IUI and though I really tried to keep calm, I found myself awake at 3:30 am, anxious as all get-out. It turned out that I just got whomever was on duty and it happened to be a male doctor. I wanted to panic, since no man has ever been up in there, but I knew that panicking wouldn't help at all. When he walked in the door with the vial, he asked me to hold it and keep it warm. All I could think about was "this tiny vial of pink(?) stuff cost $300. Panicking about the male doctor will just ensure that you're wasting $300. Don't do it."

But I made it. And now I'm sitting here reading posts on my "lesbians trying to conceive" forum, especially the ones about how days 10 and 11 are the hardest and I'm thinking, "oh crap. It gets HARDER than today?" I can't tell you how many times I typed "earliest signs of pregnancy" into the google. I really don't know how I'm going to make two weeks. I've told myself over and over that it isn't going to work the first time, but OF COURSE I want it to. Ugh. What have I gotten myself into?!?!?

Big Day #1

So tomorrow is the big day... the day we go in for our first insemination. It feel like it should be a secret, but all of you that read this blog already know, so I guess it isn't too big of a secret! I'm feeling kind of nervous and kind of excited, and kind of.... hmmm... I don't know. I'm trying not to get too worked up, though, because, as Erin said, my "uterus might suspect." It's true. I DO have a very suspicious uterus.

So the deal is that I was supposed to call by 1:30 today so they could wash the sample and get it all prepared for an 8:00 am appointment tomorrow. I needed to use an ovulation predictor kit to detect my LH surge, which is what triggers ovulation. I did one at work this morning (I have to pee on a stick) and it was negative... no surge! Thankfully, I was able to leave work and get home and try again (since I stupidly only brought sticks for a single round). Still.... negative. Agh! The clock was ticking and it was getting closer to 1:30. I drank some more water (ok, a lot of water) so I could pee again. This time, success! I finally got the little smiley face I'd been waiting for!!! Yay!

So.... we're good to go! Of course, I really want it to work, but I know that the odds are actually against me. I know that we're about to start something that could take more than a year of trying, so I keep reminding myself that this is just practice....

.... but I really hope it works.

No New News is New News

I know it's been a while since either one of us has posted here, but the truth is, there hasn't been a lot of new news.

Ok.... there's the fertility monitor. Apparently, it works. Either that, or I paid $400 for it to lie to me. Each month, it's telling me "ovulation confirmed" on the 14th day of my cycle. Good, right? Since the timing of our insemination appointment will be critical, it's great to know that I'm ovulating consistently. I only have to hope that our trip to France in May won't mess things up since it is my first ovulation after that (June) that we plan to start trying (I promise I'm not complaining...).

So there's that. And since we have the whole ovulation thing under control, we've decided that it's time to start picking our Baby Daddy. We sat down this weekend and went through the list again. We 'd had a few favorites. We'd looked at their online profiles and basically everything we could know. There was just one last evaluation - the personality test. For a fee, if course, L and I could each take a personality test, similar to the Meyers-Briggs. All the donors have also taken the test. One everyone is finished, we get a map with us and three donors of our choosing. We took the test and it turns out, L and I are in the same quadrant, though, as you might imagine, I'm super close to the center, and L is much closer to the extreme. Surprised, right? Two of the donors are also in the same quadrant, but on the other side. The third donor is almost the exact same as L, but with one key area being different - where L is "scheduled," Donor 3 is "laid-back," which puts in in the same location, but in a different quadrant. Can you imagine? But get this..... I actually scored higher on the "scheduled" scale than L did! Sooo.... we figure that maybe Donor 3 mixed with me would yield a kid who's just.... normal.
So Donor #3 is it. All that we have to do is actually purchase the vials and arrange to have them stored in our name at the bank until we're ready in June!

I guess for "no news" that's a lot of news. It's getting so close, and I'm getting more and more comfortable with the whole process. It's really felt weird to 1) see myself as a person who might actually get/be pregnant (even though the alarm on "the clock" has been going off for some time and I've been pushing snooze), and 2) to make this whole thing happen in a way that's so foreign to me. We've had to do a lot of learning in these past few months. I think I'm finally at a point where I don't feel like such a freak about it. Still, I'm hesitant to let myself get too excited. What if it doesn't work? What if it takes a long time to work? How much money would we be willing to spend? What's it worth? Yet maybe this is preparation for being a parent... making tough decisions, looking to the future, but living in the moment.

New Year's Mantra: Get Baby

Okay, so it is 2009. The year to get pregnant. I know, other people may call it "the year for change" or the "Year of the Ox." At our house, it is the year to get pregnant. Our vag wand and monitor came just before we went on our Christmas vacation and is currently being put to good use by E. Now if we can just understand the results, we will be on the right track. And if we can remember to plug in the tongue sensor into the monitor before freaking out that the reading was over 400. Wow, a lot of things to remember at 5:45 am every day.

The test results from E's testing before the holidays haven't come yet -- it should be able to tell us if she is currently ovulating. Whatever the magic number is (I have no idea what the scientific name for it is) needs to be greater than 10. <10 = Clomid. And having watched a marathon of Jon and Kate Plus 8 over the holidays, I am not sure that I am ready for Clomid. At least I know that I wouldn't be as bitchy as Kate. Or maybe I would. Okay, but I would definitely NOT have that haircut. Ugh.

I also finished book one in my series of must-have reads, The Other Mother. Here's my review. It wasn't for me. If I were gender queer and wanted to be called something other than "mommy" and needed people to recognize that I am somewhere in between mother and father, this book would have been fantastic. But here's the story. I know exactly what I want my role to be in my baby's life. I have told my partner. We have been together for 13 years and have been talking about children since year 2. And maybe I will come to regret saying all of this, but I don't worry about "coming out" in a new way when we have our baby. I am not concerned with having to tell people that I am not the biological mother of the child. I am sure that these are things that will stress me out in the not-so-distant future (key point: I am a serious worrier), but for right now, I need to think about staying awake to support E when she is up for 15 minutes messing around with the vag wand and the tongue sensor.

What was good about the book was to hear about how long it took all of the couples to get pregnant and how the significant other dealt with that stress. Unfortunately, only a couple of the stories focused on this part. A strange number of them got pregnant the first time .