New Year's Mantra: Get Baby

Okay, so it is 2009. The year to get pregnant. I know, other people may call it "the year for change" or the "Year of the Ox." At our house, it is the year to get pregnant. Our vag wand and monitor came just before we went on our Christmas vacation and is currently being put to good use by E. Now if we can just understand the results, we will be on the right track. And if we can remember to plug in the tongue sensor into the monitor before freaking out that the reading was over 400. Wow, a lot of things to remember at 5:45 am every day.

The test results from E's testing before the holidays haven't come yet -- it should be able to tell us if she is currently ovulating. Whatever the magic number is (I have no idea what the scientific name for it is) needs to be greater than 10. <10 = Clomid. And having watched a marathon of Jon and Kate Plus 8 over the holidays, I am not sure that I am ready for Clomid. At least I know that I wouldn't be as bitchy as Kate. Or maybe I would. Okay, but I would definitely NOT have that haircut. Ugh.

I also finished book one in my series of must-have reads, The Other Mother. Here's my review. It wasn't for me. If I were gender queer and wanted to be called something other than "mommy" and needed people to recognize that I am somewhere in between mother and father, this book would have been fantastic. But here's the story. I know exactly what I want my role to be in my baby's life. I have told my partner. We have been together for 13 years and have been talking about children since year 2. And maybe I will come to regret saying all of this, but I don't worry about "coming out" in a new way when we have our baby. I am not concerned with having to tell people that I am not the biological mother of the child. I am sure that these are things that will stress me out in the not-so-distant future (key point: I am a serious worrier), but for right now, I need to think about staying awake to support E when she is up for 15 minutes messing around with the vag wand and the tongue sensor.

What was good about the book was to hear about how long it took all of the couples to get pregnant and how the significant other dealt with that stress. Unfortunately, only a couple of the stories focused on this part. A strange number of them got pregnant the first time .

This is gonna be interesting

I always knew that it wouldn't be easy for us to get pregnant. I mean, we are missing some of the necessary parts and equipment, but I guess I had no idea about just how much work we'd have to go through to make this real for ourselves. I already feel like we should have started this process six months ago (and I guess if you count the weight loss, we did), but I just want it all to happen now. I mean, even if everything is perfect, I still have to wait a year and a half from now, and that seems like a really, really long time.

So in the meantime, we're trying to get all our ducks in a row and make sure we're doing everything right so we give ourselves the best chance possible. I know it will happen, one way or another, sooner, or later. Cory (who does my hair) suggested I read a book about enjoying the now and not anticipating whatever comes next. Clearly, I'm doing a poor job of hiding that aspect of myself. I should probably read the books. It's probably a good idea.

And I also want this documented. Just in case I forget.

So far, it's been weird to talk about this process with other people. I mean, I don't know a lot about the process - we're learning as we go, for sure - but clearly, other people are curious, as well. I know I'm going to have to get used to people asking about details.... how, when, who, where. I mean, no one asks those questions of straight couples, for sure. I get it - people are curious. And to an extent, I guess it's an opportunity to educate others about the whole thing, but it's just weird. It's weird to be talking about fertility monitors with strangers at wedding receptions. It's weird to be talking about sperm with friends. It's weird to hear other people's opinions (and trust me, they have them) about how we should go about it, where we should get our sperm, how we should get the baby in, how we should get the baby out..... but I guess it's all uncharted territory, anyway, so we'll figure it out and make our way, and hopefully, we'll get a baby out of the deal.

I already know THIS much about cervical mucus.

Now it's serious. We've lost the weight (64 pounds total). We've made our first decisions. It's time to get serious.

We met with our OB/GYN on Wednesday morning. E had met with her a few months ago to discuss pre-preliminary steps, and she told her that she had to lose weight to make sure that her pregnancy went as smoothly as possible. So, dutifully, we went on Weight Watchers. (I promise this won't be one of those Weight Watcher cult blogs.) She's lost 34 lbs. Amazing. So we were ready to report back to Nancy (our NP - she'll make frequent appearances on here no doubt). Success!

Also included in our report were about 6 weeks of charting Basal Temperatures. Ours looked out of whack. Good news: looks like E has a 28 day cycle. Hooray! Bad News: Our chart is on crack. Nancy pulled out what a "normal" chart should look like, and...it doesn't look at all like ours. So, we used some strategery to figure out the issue.

Seems as though we weren't being as strict as we need to be with the temperature taking. No taking Sully (our Boston Terrier who will no doubt be making many appearances on the blog as well) out to pee and then trying to fake the thermometer that she's been in bed the whole time. No pretending like 8am on Saturdays is the same as 5:45 during the week. No we're serious about it...5:45 every day.

And by we, I mean E. I wish that the beep beep beep of the thermometer woke me up so that I, too, could suffer through the consistent morning wake up times. But, I sleep like a comatose patient. So I, as the other mother, miss out on that one.

I guess another part of being serious is spending some serious money. We have made our first investment in Project Roosevelt - the Ovacue. At Lesbo Class (aka Prospective Parents meetup through Rainbow Families), the mom there talked highly about the fertility monitor. Since we want this to be as smooth as possible, we are in the gadget and book phase right now. We purchased the monitor and the vaginal wand. Some man must have named it a wand because there doesn't seem to be anything magical about that fucking wand. It should come in three days - I am sure we'll report more then. Right now, we are worried about getting it through security on our Christmas plan travels. Hmmm...

I am also reading my first book all about being a pregnant dyke. And when they say "ultimate" they mean ultimate. I was reading it while I was on the eliptical at the gym the other day (I know, I have no shame). Of course, I was reading about the consistency of cervical mucus (egg whites, stretchy...sounds like a twisted meringue recipe if you ask me). The dirty man on the treadmill next to me just HAPPENED to be looking over my shoulder every time I looked at him. I already know so much about cervical mucus...he also must have some new knowledge. Dirty.